The more I see, the less I know

I'm finally here!

It only took two flights (second one nearly missed), 10 hours, one confusing airport and a 45-minute cab ride, but I made it. But for some reason, I still don't feel like I'm here.

I haven't had an existential "what am I doing" crisis (yet, anyway), but I've been waiting so long to come here that I don't think I know how to feel yet. Nothing has been too hard yet. I'm sharing a hotel room with three other AU girls until tomorrow when we meet our host families. I've had to use French when dining out, but sometimes the waiters pick up on our accents and speak to us in English anyway. I did buy a cell phone "tout a fait" in French, though, so that made me feel pretty good.

Then came meeting the host family. I actually ended up switching with Emily, another AU girl with the enclave, because both our families lived in the same apartment complex in the 20eme arrondissement, but hers had a cat. I had checked off "no pets" on my application, but of all the four-legged creatures I can handle (sort of), it's cats. And he looks like Ryan's old cat Lenny, so that made me happy.

My family, les Vallee, are very nice. There's a mom and dad, Karin and Etienne, and three kids aged 9, 10 and 14 I believe - Nicolas, Pierre and Marie. Marie is adorable - she wants to look up to me as a big sister, which made me happy because it's sort of like home except now I have a much younger little sister. They made me couscous with three different types of meat for dinner. I think I ate like a bird compared to them, but hopefully they know I did actually like it.

The only problem with the entire evening was that they reminded me too much of my family. I've talked to my mom every day, but I haven't really been homesick. I guess that was because I was living with all the other girls who were in the same position as me, so I had a strength in numbers feeling the first few days. Now that I'm actually in the situation I will live in for the next few months, it's scary as hell. To top it all off, I ended the day by breaking down in front of my host parents because I couldn't figure out how to ask them about keys and building access codes.

I had sworn to myself at dinner that I wouldn't cry in front of them because I didn't want them to think I didn't like them or their family. At least the kids weren't there, but I felt awful anyway. I'm sure they understand because they've hosted kids before, but it wasn't my best moment. I didn't feel like I wanted to leave; I just wanted a hug from my mom. Well, maybe it was a bit of an existential crisis. I wanted a hug from my mom at my house.

Oh, well, hopefully today I can communicate about things that aren't technologically related. Bonne chance a moi!

Prepared? Right...

People keep asking me if I'm ready to go to Paris, telling me they're jealous and that this will be the best experience of my life, etc. etc. Honestly? I feel like a bump on a log.

What have I done to prepare so far, considering the Big Day is 20 days away? Well, I read the entire A section of The Philadelphia Inquirer every day. If I'm not shopping with my mom, I run on the treadmill. My preferred shower time is 1 p.m. I really like watching "The West Wing" and "Band of Brothers" on DVD with my Dad. I may drive down to Ryan's after dinner. Lather, rinse, repeat.

I am tutoring a neighbor in French, so there's my one feeble attempt at preparing myself linguistically for the semester. I keep telling myself I'm going to start reading the French news sites I did last semester for my French press class. Right.

My mom's already gotten teary in my presence twice. No matter how many times I say "I'll be fine," it doesn't mean she is.

On a happy note, I got some euro for Christmas from my godmother, and my Pop Pop gave me some euro coins from my grandparents' last trip to Europe. All I have to say to the EU is THANK YOU. You print coins with the number value on them so I don't have to memorize which historical/cultural figure goes with which amount of currency like the good old U.S. of A. Merci beaucoup.

Ok, happy time's over. I'm going to get my International Student Identity Card today hopefully, I don't have a cell phone plan yet, I need more euro to survive my first few days, my banking situation is still nonexistent, I don't know what I'm packing, and I need a new laptop.

I'm going to Paris in 20 days. I'll let you know when the freak-out truly commences.